Sicilian Boss? Bring It. Sefciks Never Run Scared.

well.  Sicily has been....interesting.  Who thought we could encounter so many problems in such a short amount of time.  Yesterday, we got the Eurostar train from Florence to Rome, left our souvenirs in the storage room at Casa Olmata, got on the train to the airport, took our flight from Rome to Palermo, boarded a train that took us from the Palermo airport to Palermo Centrale (1.5 hours), then boarded a train headed to Messina.  Now, our final destination was Catania.  Why did we board the train to Messina, you ask?  Because the train was free with our railpass, and we didn't think it would take so godawfully long as the FOUR HOURS we found out it would take once we were on board.  We knew there was a bus to Catania that was direct, instead of the two trains we would have to take, but we thought the bus was really expensive (thanks a lot, Steph, nice research).  So there we were, crammed with about fifty other people in three tiny little train cars packed so full that we not only could not sit down, we couldn't even move down the aisles or sit on the floor.  No way, we thought.  We hopped off at the next stop, headed back toward Palermo Centrale, and prayed we hadn't missed the bus (because if we had, we would be facing seven hours of jam packed hell).  Jumped off the train, and headed to get the increasingly elusive bus tickets.  SIX different bus companies before we found the one that went to Catania.  Pleeeasssse.  For reals.  Got the tickets (14 euros for a 2 1/2 hour ride = thank you GOD) and then commenced running around like idiots, trying to find food for the train.  We hadn't eaten in forever and since we had jumped on the Messina train two minutes after getting off the previous one, no chance for food then, either.  Surprisingly, after we had gotten our food from the sixth vendor we checked out and had literally RUN around the whole city block, the bus ride was pleasant. 

Enter the apartment.  (switching narrators from Steph to Stacey)

Alright. Allow me to set the scene. It's dark, Stephanie is sucking away happily at her freaking McFlurry that she HAD to get (no shocker there) and we're blindly following this really nice girl down a street that is getting more and more sketchy with each step. Just when we had passed a place that was only slightly acceptable (and at this point I was hoping was our destination) we round the corner of a corrugated metal fence and go down an alley that you wouldn't catch me in in the light of day. Great. Awesome. The apartment was actually decent on the inside, nothing I would be terribly excited about, but Stephanie was thrilled saying this was her "great surprise".........wtf. Obviously our definitions of great surprise are vastly different. So this girl finally leaves and then the noise begins. Now, we've all lived in apartments, so clearly there are some things you can hear from your neighbors, no biggie. These walls were paper thin, this woman might as well have been screaming directly into my ear. Hello, neighbors from hell. Their child apparently didn't sleep all night, throwing all sorts of things onto the floor, while the parents were doing what I could only assume to be rearranging all of the furniture in their craptastic apartment. Add in a raging mad dog and some sort of obnoxious high pitched noise and you have just the base sounds for our night. We had just lay down to go to bed and heard a car screeching to a halt outside our window. (Might I mention that the next morning I looked out our window and we might as well have been staying next to ground zero. It looked like a bomb had gone off and just left heaps of rubble. What gorgeous scenery) If that wasn't bad enough apparently the person they were waiting for was taking their sweet ass time and so what did the driver do????? Oh that's right. The most appropriate thing to do at night. They laid on their horn....for five minutes. Seriously?  I was about to go out and kick some Sicilian ass. I finally stuffed my earplugs in and fell asleep. I awoke to someone shaking me. "who is this crazy lady shaking me and what does she want??? am i on the train??" I finally realized it was just Steph begging me for a pair of the earplugs she made fun of me for. Not so funny now, eh!? Anyhow. The noise basically never stopped. Ever. This woman was psycho. So, after I woke up and took a cold shower (thanks to someone) I was thoroughly pissed. I could feel myself channeling my inner Lynnette. People do NOT mess with my sleep.  Shit was about to hit the fan.

Enter Stephanie as narrator.

I have rarely been as altogether terrified of my sister as I was this morning.  I had screwed up.  The pictures on the internet LIED to me, and though I had done my best and had actually been really excited about us having this excellent private apartment, it was clear to me that Stacey was an angry, angry beast.  I was scared to death to wake her up this morning after that horrendous night.  We met the B&B girl in the square, and after I attempted to open the bargaining with an "I think we need to move for the next night," Stacey jumped in with "We are not paying for this apartment for another night and we are moving somewhere else." Reasonable.  Direct, to the point, yet still polite.  Okay, I thought, she means business.  The girl said she didn't have the authority to let us off the hook without charging us an additional night as cancellation fee, but we could go talk to her boss.  Her Sicilian boss, as she reminded us.  Stacey said (mentally) "bring it on."  The poor bastard didn't know what hit him.  We fell seamlessly into the good cop/bad cop routine, but even I was completely shocked by my counterpart's tenacity.  She was a lion.  She was a pitbull hungry for the kill.  She was a cobra ready to strike.  You get it.  We walked in, and she was "I understand that you are running a business and that this isn't your fault, but we are not paying for another night.  The apartment is not habitable.  Do you understand that?  If you try to charge us for another night--" "I am not going to try, I will charge you."  "Well, if you charge our Visa card, we are going to cancel the charge.  Do you understand? We will cancel it.  I'm not paying for a room I'm not staying in."  At this point, the other girl and I were somewhat slack-jawed at this fast and furious exchange.  As Stacey left to go outside and as she put it, "call in the big dogs," aka Mom and Dad, I played the meek good cop and got them to search for another apartment for us.  I can see now why the cops use this tactic.  Tres effective.  They found us another apartment, much quieter, pretty amazing and 10 euros CHEAPER.  One might ask, why didn't they offer us this apartment to begin with?  Hm. We may never know.